Monday, December 14, 2015

WHY SETTING GOALS AND ACCOMPLISHING THEM CAN HELP YOU


Hi, my name is Anita Sandoval MA, LPC-S and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. 

My belief is to help those with less privileged and unhealthy backgrounds, remove some obstacles for them so that, then, they too will have an opportunity to be more productive and lift themselves up to achieve their greatest potential and live life successfully. 


TODAY'S TOPIC

WHY SETTING GOALS AND ACCOMPLISHING THEM CAN HELP YOU

There are some reasons on why it is important to set goals
  • Having a goal written down with a set date for accomplishment gives you something to plan and work for. It keeps you moving in the right direction. Even if your goal was not met fully at least it was in the right direction. I had made a goal to run a marathon and due to lack of training properly I ran the half-marathon and still met my goal of running in a marathon and left me prepared for this upcoming year to be prepared and run the full marathon!

  • Proper goal setting can help break larger, intimidating aspirations into smaller, more achievable stepping stones. When you break down your goals the things you want the most will seem easier to grasp. If I would not have set my goal of the marathon then run the half marathon I would have thought it impossible and maybe not run anything at all. Baby steps will get you to your finish line. 
 
  • When you take the time to set goals, you ensure that your life is geared towards getting the most out of every moment. The reality is we all only have this lifetime to live life the best we can and make the most out of it. Goals help set those moments you want to experience happen!
 
  • There are certainly times where we set goals that don’t really reflect what we want.
    Setting some goals will help you learn about yourself and find your true purpose and meaning in life.
     
  • Setting goals for yourself is a way to fuel your ambition
    It helps me get motivated and stay motivated. Now that I accomplished my half-marathon, it has fueled my ambition to keep moving forward and to finish my goal of running the full marathon!
     
    To read more over setting goals you can click on the link below:
     

Reflections After A Half-Marathon

         So as I stated, I decided that after much thought, for my health it would be best to run the half-marathon. I knew I had set a goal and had to accomplish at least something within that direction. Saying a goal is easier said than done. I new that I had to do what I said or else I wouldn't be true to myself. Luckily, I had practiced running and trained and had some knowledge of runs from my past. I knew the motto " Slow and Steady Wins the Race" was what was going to keep me. I always say expect the worst and hope for the best. Therefore, during the run I had used the strategy of pacing myself and luckily, it worked! There was actually 3 miles where I ran the exact time. I kept the same minutes throughout the whole race and I was able to manage it with ease! I felt accomplished and knew that the upcoming 2016 year would be good to me as long as I kept the same strategies.

  • Set goals and strategies on how I aim to accomplish them.
  • Set time frame on goals and do a reality check consistently to see if I am headed in the right direction.
  • Once finished evaluate and set a new goal.
I have realized that I have only one life to live and I aim to use it to my best and full potential.


The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.
— Bill Copeland
 
What are your goals for 2016? Has there been any goals that you set this year and you accomplished them, if so how did you feel afterwards, if not then what did you do? Please comment below and let me know.



  

Email:
brokenchains@pacc-tx.com or on this website contact info as well
Facebook:
Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx
Broken Chains Blog:
http://positiveawakenings.blogspot.com/

Friday, December 11, 2015

Living Life and Being Happy-Building Healthy Relationships: How to Be Understood and Communicate and Not Talk....

Living Life and Being Happy-Building Healthy Relationships: How to Be Understood and Communicate and Not Talk....: Hi, my name is Anita Sandoval MA, LPC-S and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. My belief is to help those with less privileged and u...

How to Be Understood and Communicate and Not Talk.



Hi, my name is Anita Sandoval MA, LPC-S and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor.


My belief is to help those with less privileged and unhealthy backgrounds, remove some obstacles for them so that, then, they too will have an opportunity to be more productive and lift themselves up to achieve their greatest potential and live life successfully.


What I do is Create the following:

A- Awareness on what is healthy and unhealthy relationships
C- Changes in behaviors to be consistent with your values and replace the ones that is not.
E -Emotional Intelligence- How to manage your emotions effectively that includes
     communication,coping, and problem solving skills

My Core Values Are:
· Responsibility
· Respect
· Family
· Education

 Today's Topic is on how to communicate with someone in a way that you can be understood.

Like many others I was never learned or was taught on how I could communicate my point across to people in a way that they could understand what I believed in.

Yes, I learned to talk and the words would come out but the point I wanted to make was just not getting through. For the most part that would leave me with feelings of frustration correlated soon after with anger.

Within the years I realized the difference between talking and communicating. Talking was when superficial comments or "Good day" type of conversation would happen. Communication however was when I could share my opinion, values, or beliefs in a way that others could understand. The latter is what I wanted

Over the years with practice, trial and error I was able to develop a strategy on how I could go about and communicate to people. Again, there are alot of factors that help or hurt communication but as with anything all you can do is your part and implement the communication as best as you can.

Effective Communication Formula:


Mention the specific behavior- what you can actually see with your eyes. 

Tell them how you feel with that behavior- (anger is a secondary feeling therefore pick one of the first ones that go along with anger, ex: disrespect, embarrassed, hurt, ignored)

Tell them why you feel it is important to bring it up and what you want ( This has to do with your opinion, value, belief of the issue and the relationship with that person, do you want a closer relationship, respectful one this is the what you want between the both of you)

Tell them what you are going to do to achieve that goal or get what you want. ( Reminder: you cannot change anyone or control anyone but yourself! So mention only what you will do, example: communicate with you more my problems, opinions, or just not hang out with you as much)

Let Me Use The Formula In An Example:
Example Story: Jose keeps picking up Juan late and then they both keep arriving late for work. 
Juan: Jose I have noticed that you have been picking me up 20 minutes later than we had discussed and therefore we keep arriving late to work ( Specific Behavior mentioned)
Juan: Whenever you pick me up late I get to work late and then I feel frustrated and annoyed.(Stated his Feelings)
Juan: In my opinion arriving on time to work is something important to me as well as your friendship. I want us to have a good friendship where we can respect each others values and mine is arriving to work on time.( Specific value mentioned and what type of relationship he wants with his friend.)
Juan: If you are not able to pick me up on time in the future I will take another means of transportation. 

Has it ever happened that you had good intentions of communicating with someone your point of view and it went horribly wrong? Please let me know in the comment below!

Of course you guys put in your own words what you want to say and how you say it to make it your own. Let me know if you have tried it and its results. Also if you have any questions about anything else or would like to comment on another subject please let me know. 


  

Website: www.pacc-tx.com

Email: brokenchains@pacc-tx.com / anita@pacc-tx.com
Facebook:
Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx
Broken Chains Blog:
http://positiveawakenings.blogspot.com/


 


Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Does Being Honest to Someone Make It Ok to Be Disrespectful?

                                    Welcome today's topic I will discuss
EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH AND THEIR DIFFERENCES
Emotional Boundaries_client told me that when she was put down and called names that she said it was helping her in a way because the other person was being honest with them so therefore they were not invading any emotional boundary. Her irrational belief was that as long as the person is honest then they can put me down and emotionally hurt me because it will help me.
So the question lies in does being honest have anything to do with respecting the emotional boundary of someone and is there a written law where it says that if you are honest you can disrespect, belittle, put down, humiliate someone. Because after all they are being honest.
Healthy emotional boundaries is where the other person will take your feelings under consideration before saying something. AGAIN:Healthy emotional boundaries is where the other person will take your feelings under consideration before saying something. Remember: CONSIDER, not do what you say or change their beliefs or accept. Just consider. Whenever there is a difference of opinion, yes it is ok to say but say it in a way that is considerate of other people's feelings. A list of considerate do's and don't are as follows:
DO examples:
state the facts
state the behaviors how you saw them not heard
state your beliefs
criticize to help
offer help
compliment

Don't examples:
Name call
put down
criticize to hurt
humiliate
embarrass to make fun etc.

For example: Juanita washes dishes and accidentally breaks a glass. Jose tells her she is clumsy and always breaks glasses. He continues to tell her that she can't do anything right and is wasting money by breaking things etc. Juanita feels it is not emotional abuse since he is being honest. He is then using the: name call, put down, criticize to hurt,

Example number 2:
For Example: Juanita washes dishes and accidentally breaks a glass. Jose tells her that he has noticed that she has broken several glasses, and then offers his help to come up with different methods such as buying plastic cups or him washing the dishes while she does another chore. He then can continue to find solutions with her reach the goal that they are both content with. He is using:Stating the behaviors on what he is seeing, and offering help and criticizing for help and even offering solutions. 

Both methods state the truth however the first one is emotional abuse and the second one is healthy emotional relationships filled with respect. Therefore there will be more improvement with the person with the second option than the first one.

What do you think? Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever thought this? Please comment below and share your thoughts over this matter.

If you have any concerns, questions or would like to comment on any of the blogs or would like for me to discuss a certain issue, I will be more than happy to discuss it with you. You can email me at 

Also for anyone interested in my book "Broken Chains please go to my website or contact me on the info below. 

Email:
brokenchains@pacc-tx.com or on www.pacc-tx.com as well
Facebook:
Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx
Broken Chains Blog:
http://positiveawakenings.blogspot.com/