Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Does Being Honest to Someone Make It Ok to Be Disrespectful?

                                    Welcome today's topic I will discuss
EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH AND THEIR DIFFERENCES
Emotional Boundaries_client told me that when she was put down and called names that she said it was helping her in a way because the other person was being honest with them so therefore they were not invading any emotional boundary. Her irrational belief was that as long as the person is honest then they can put me down and emotionally hurt me because it will help me.
So the question lies in does being honest have anything to do with respecting the emotional boundary of someone and is there a written law where it says that if you are honest you can disrespect, belittle, put down, humiliate someone. Because after all they are being honest.
Healthy emotional boundaries is where the other person will take your feelings under consideration before saying something. AGAIN:Healthy emotional boundaries is where the other person will take your feelings under consideration before saying something. Remember: CONSIDER, not do what you say or change their beliefs or accept. Just consider. Whenever there is a difference of opinion, yes it is ok to say but say it in a way that is considerate of other people's feelings. A list of considerate do's and don't are as follows:
DO examples:
state the facts
state the behaviors how you saw them not heard
state your beliefs
criticize to help
offer help
compliment

Don't examples:
Name call
put down
criticize to hurt
humiliate
embarrass to make fun etc.

For example: Juanita washes dishes and accidentally breaks a glass. Jose tells her she is clumsy and always breaks glasses. He continues to tell her that she can't do anything right and is wasting money by breaking things etc. Juanita feels it is not emotional abuse since he is being honest. He is then using the: name call, put down, criticize to hurt,

Example number 2:
For Example: Juanita washes dishes and accidentally breaks a glass. Jose tells her that he has noticed that she has broken several glasses, and then offers his help to come up with different methods such as buying plastic cups or him washing the dishes while she does another chore. He then can continue to find solutions with her reach the goal that they are both content with. He is using:Stating the behaviors on what he is seeing, and offering help and criticizing for help and even offering solutions. 

Both methods state the truth however the first one is emotional abuse and the second one is healthy emotional relationships filled with respect. Therefore there will be more improvement with the person with the second option than the first one.

What do you think? Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever thought this? Please comment below and share your thoughts over this matter.

If you have any concerns, questions or would like to comment on any of the blogs or would like for me to discuss a certain issue, I will be more than happy to discuss it with you. You can email me at 

Also for anyone interested in my book "Broken Chains please go to my website or contact me on the info below. 

Email:
brokenchains@pacc-tx.com or on www.pacc-tx.com as well
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Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
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