Monday, December 14, 2015

WHY SETTING GOALS AND ACCOMPLISHING THEM CAN HELP YOU


Hi, my name is Anita Sandoval MA, LPC-S and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. 

My belief is to help those with less privileged and unhealthy backgrounds, remove some obstacles for them so that, then, they too will have an opportunity to be more productive and lift themselves up to achieve their greatest potential and live life successfully. 


TODAY'S TOPIC

WHY SETTING GOALS AND ACCOMPLISHING THEM CAN HELP YOU

There are some reasons on why it is important to set goals
  • Having a goal written down with a set date for accomplishment gives you something to plan and work for. It keeps you moving in the right direction. Even if your goal was not met fully at least it was in the right direction. I had made a goal to run a marathon and due to lack of training properly I ran the half-marathon and still met my goal of running in a marathon and left me prepared for this upcoming year to be prepared and run the full marathon!

  • Proper goal setting can help break larger, intimidating aspirations into smaller, more achievable stepping stones. When you break down your goals the things you want the most will seem easier to grasp. If I would not have set my goal of the marathon then run the half marathon I would have thought it impossible and maybe not run anything at all. Baby steps will get you to your finish line. 
 
  • When you take the time to set goals, you ensure that your life is geared towards getting the most out of every moment. The reality is we all only have this lifetime to live life the best we can and make the most out of it. Goals help set those moments you want to experience happen!
 
  • There are certainly times where we set goals that don’t really reflect what we want.
    Setting some goals will help you learn about yourself and find your true purpose and meaning in life.
     
  • Setting goals for yourself is a way to fuel your ambition
    It helps me get motivated and stay motivated. Now that I accomplished my half-marathon, it has fueled my ambition to keep moving forward and to finish my goal of running the full marathon!
     
    To read more over setting goals you can click on the link below:
     

Reflections After A Half-Marathon

         So as I stated, I decided that after much thought, for my health it would be best to run the half-marathon. I knew I had set a goal and had to accomplish at least something within that direction. Saying a goal is easier said than done. I new that I had to do what I said or else I wouldn't be true to myself. Luckily, I had practiced running and trained and had some knowledge of runs from my past. I knew the motto " Slow and Steady Wins the Race" was what was going to keep me. I always say expect the worst and hope for the best. Therefore, during the run I had used the strategy of pacing myself and luckily, it worked! There was actually 3 miles where I ran the exact time. I kept the same minutes throughout the whole race and I was able to manage it with ease! I felt accomplished and knew that the upcoming 2016 year would be good to me as long as I kept the same strategies.

  • Set goals and strategies on how I aim to accomplish them.
  • Set time frame on goals and do a reality check consistently to see if I am headed in the right direction.
  • Once finished evaluate and set a new goal.
I have realized that I have only one life to live and I aim to use it to my best and full potential.


The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.
— Bill Copeland
 
What are your goals for 2016? Has there been any goals that you set this year and you accomplished them, if so how did you feel afterwards, if not then what did you do? Please comment below and let me know.



  

Email:
brokenchains@pacc-tx.com or on this website contact info as well
Facebook:
Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx
Broken Chains Blog:
http://positiveawakenings.blogspot.com/

Friday, December 11, 2015

Living Life and Being Happy-Building Healthy Relationships: How to Be Understood and Communicate and Not Talk....

Living Life and Being Happy-Building Healthy Relationships: How to Be Understood and Communicate and Not Talk....: Hi, my name is Anita Sandoval MA, LPC-S and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. My belief is to help those with less privileged and u...

How to Be Understood and Communicate and Not Talk.



Hi, my name is Anita Sandoval MA, LPC-S and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor.


My belief is to help those with less privileged and unhealthy backgrounds, remove some obstacles for them so that, then, they too will have an opportunity to be more productive and lift themselves up to achieve their greatest potential and live life successfully.


What I do is Create the following:

A- Awareness on what is healthy and unhealthy relationships
C- Changes in behaviors to be consistent with your values and replace the ones that is not.
E -Emotional Intelligence- How to manage your emotions effectively that includes
     communication,coping, and problem solving skills

My Core Values Are:
· Responsibility
· Respect
· Family
· Education

 Today's Topic is on how to communicate with someone in a way that you can be understood.

Like many others I was never learned or was taught on how I could communicate my point across to people in a way that they could understand what I believed in.

Yes, I learned to talk and the words would come out but the point I wanted to make was just not getting through. For the most part that would leave me with feelings of frustration correlated soon after with anger.

Within the years I realized the difference between talking and communicating. Talking was when superficial comments or "Good day" type of conversation would happen. Communication however was when I could share my opinion, values, or beliefs in a way that others could understand. The latter is what I wanted

Over the years with practice, trial and error I was able to develop a strategy on how I could go about and communicate to people. Again, there are alot of factors that help or hurt communication but as with anything all you can do is your part and implement the communication as best as you can.

Effective Communication Formula:


Mention the specific behavior- what you can actually see with your eyes. 

Tell them how you feel with that behavior- (anger is a secondary feeling therefore pick one of the first ones that go along with anger, ex: disrespect, embarrassed, hurt, ignored)

Tell them why you feel it is important to bring it up and what you want ( This has to do with your opinion, value, belief of the issue and the relationship with that person, do you want a closer relationship, respectful one this is the what you want between the both of you)

Tell them what you are going to do to achieve that goal or get what you want. ( Reminder: you cannot change anyone or control anyone but yourself! So mention only what you will do, example: communicate with you more my problems, opinions, or just not hang out with you as much)

Let Me Use The Formula In An Example:
Example Story: Jose keeps picking up Juan late and then they both keep arriving late for work. 
Juan: Jose I have noticed that you have been picking me up 20 minutes later than we had discussed and therefore we keep arriving late to work ( Specific Behavior mentioned)
Juan: Whenever you pick me up late I get to work late and then I feel frustrated and annoyed.(Stated his Feelings)
Juan: In my opinion arriving on time to work is something important to me as well as your friendship. I want us to have a good friendship where we can respect each others values and mine is arriving to work on time.( Specific value mentioned and what type of relationship he wants with his friend.)
Juan: If you are not able to pick me up on time in the future I will take another means of transportation. 

Has it ever happened that you had good intentions of communicating with someone your point of view and it went horribly wrong? Please let me know in the comment below!

Of course you guys put in your own words what you want to say and how you say it to make it your own. Let me know if you have tried it and its results. Also if you have any questions about anything else or would like to comment on another subject please let me know. 


  

Website: www.pacc-tx.com

Email: brokenchains@pacc-tx.com / anita@pacc-tx.com
Facebook:
Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx
Broken Chains Blog:
http://positiveawakenings.blogspot.com/


 


Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Does Being Honest to Someone Make It Ok to Be Disrespectful?

                                    Welcome today's topic I will discuss
EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH AND THEIR DIFFERENCES
Emotional Boundaries_client told me that when she was put down and called names that she said it was helping her in a way because the other person was being honest with them so therefore they were not invading any emotional boundary. Her irrational belief was that as long as the person is honest then they can put me down and emotionally hurt me because it will help me.
So the question lies in does being honest have anything to do with respecting the emotional boundary of someone and is there a written law where it says that if you are honest you can disrespect, belittle, put down, humiliate someone. Because after all they are being honest.
Healthy emotional boundaries is where the other person will take your feelings under consideration before saying something. AGAIN:Healthy emotional boundaries is where the other person will take your feelings under consideration before saying something. Remember: CONSIDER, not do what you say or change their beliefs or accept. Just consider. Whenever there is a difference of opinion, yes it is ok to say but say it in a way that is considerate of other people's feelings. A list of considerate do's and don't are as follows:
DO examples:
state the facts
state the behaviors how you saw them not heard
state your beliefs
criticize to help
offer help
compliment

Don't examples:
Name call
put down
criticize to hurt
humiliate
embarrass to make fun etc.

For example: Juanita washes dishes and accidentally breaks a glass. Jose tells her she is clumsy and always breaks glasses. He continues to tell her that she can't do anything right and is wasting money by breaking things etc. Juanita feels it is not emotional abuse since he is being honest. He is then using the: name call, put down, criticize to hurt,

Example number 2:
For Example: Juanita washes dishes and accidentally breaks a glass. Jose tells her that he has noticed that she has broken several glasses, and then offers his help to come up with different methods such as buying plastic cups or him washing the dishes while she does another chore. He then can continue to find solutions with her reach the goal that they are both content with. He is using:Stating the behaviors on what he is seeing, and offering help and criticizing for help and even offering solutions. 

Both methods state the truth however the first one is emotional abuse and the second one is healthy emotional relationships filled with respect. Therefore there will be more improvement with the person with the second option than the first one.

What do you think? Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever thought this? Please comment below and share your thoughts over this matter.

If you have any concerns, questions or would like to comment on any of the blogs or would like for me to discuss a certain issue, I will be more than happy to discuss it with you. You can email me at 

Also for anyone interested in my book "Broken Chains please go to my website or contact me on the info below. 

Email:
brokenchains@pacc-tx.com or on www.pacc-tx.com as well
Facebook:
Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx
Broken Chains Blog:
http://positiveawakenings.blogspot.com/


  

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

How to Break the Fear of Fear Itself


Hello, my name is Anita Sandoval, I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and from the Rio Grande Valley. My job is to help people come up with techniques, skills, strategies, to implement and move forward to a healthier environment. It is up to you to be responsible and do what is necessary to create your own healthy environment, and I am ready to help you do so.

Today's Topic is Fear:

As one famous person said:

“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”: FDR’s First Inaugural Address 

I would always wonder what that meant. I mean I am a person who fears many things. From spiders, to unforeseeable events and many more. The question was, was I not entitled to have fear. How can fear be overcome. Then I slowly after much reading I realized that fear is something that we have in our minds that we make it to be as big or small as we choose it to be. I read a book called, Punch Fear in the Face by Jon Acuff

and I then started to realize that fear is what was holding me back into being the person I so wanted to become. I realized that breaking through to my imaginary troll of fear I would then reach my destination of success. As with everything I do that I fear, I tend to go with baby steps. I know there are some people that fully immerse themselves to what they fear a type of sink or swim type of deal. That's great for them but for me I like to take things small that way the risks are small whether great or not I like like to work that way. 

I have come to realize that throughout life that the only way I can move forward is by facing fear head on and beating it with a punch. I recently published my book BROKEN CHAINS ( How I broke the cycle of abuse and neglect and went from victim to survivor) It's scary to see your whole life out there for everyone to see and judge and criticize. Then I realized again that the only way I can make a difference to people is by being authentic to myself and realize that the only person I have to come to terms with with love, respect, and acceptance, is with myself. 

So for anyone who is ready to break the cycle of abuse and neglect and create healthier relationships send me an email on how you can purchase my book. 


If you have any concerns, questions or would like to comment on any of the blogs or would like for me to discuss a certain issue, I will be more than happy to discuss it with you. You can email me at

Email:
brokenchains@pacc-tx.com or on www.pacc-tx.com as well
Facebook:
Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx
Broken Chains Blog:
http://positiveawakenings.blogspot.com/


  

 

Monday, October 19, 2015

Awareness and Prevention on Domestic Violence

www.positiveawakeningscenter.com


Hi, my name is Anita Sandoval MA,LPC. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor.  

My job is to help people come up with techniques, skills, strategies, to implement and move forward to a healthier environment. It is up to you to be responsible and do what is necessary to create your own healthy environment, and I am ready to help you do so.

Today's Topic Domestic Violence 

According to the website

http://www.safehorizon.org/index.php

What is Domestic Violence?

  • Domestic Violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence.
  • Other terms for domestic violence include intimate partner violence, battering, relationship abuse, spousal abuse, or family violence.

  •  1 in 7 men will experience domestic violence at some point in his life.
  • Domestic Violence affects 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men.  

Domestic Violence in America: General Statistics and Facts

  • Women ages 18 to 34 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
  • More than 4 million women experience physical assault and rape by their partners.
  • In 2 out of 3 female homicide cases, females are killed by a family member or intimate partner.

What are the Effects of Domestic Violence on Mental Health?

  • Domestic violence victims face high rates of depression, sleep disturbances, anxiety, flashbacks, and other emotional distress.
  • Domestic violence contributes to poor health for many survivors including chronic conditions such as heart disease or gastrointestinal disorders.
  • Most women brought to emergency rooms due to domestic violence were socially isolated and had few social and financial resources.

It is important to become aware of the facts and then help yourself or someone you know who is in need. I have many patients that come to my office justifying, excusing, blaming, minimizing the domestic violence. There is no excuse for abuse and as you have read everyone gets affected and then the cycle begins. The question to ask is when will it end! When will someone finally say enough!
I know one of the common irrational beliefs is that children need both parents and that divorce or separation will affect them. In reading the statistics above, logically ask yourself are the effects of the children's future mental health well being and success in life being at risk worth having both parents if it involves one with domestic violence.

Some of the Signs of Domestic Violence are:

Does your partner ever:

  1. Accuse you of cheating and being disloyal?
  2. Make you feel worthless?
  3. Hurt you by hitting, choking or kicking you?
  4. Intimidate and threaten to hurt you or someone you love?
  5. Threaten to hurt themselves if they don’t get what they want?
  6. Try to control what you do and who you see?
  7. Isolate you?
  8. Pressure or force you into unwanted sex?
  9. Control your access to money?
  10. Stalk you, including calling you constantly or following you?

Get Help:

Hotline Phone Numbers

Domestic Violence Hotline:
800.621.HOPE (4673)

Crime Victims Hotline:
866.689.HELP (4357)

Rape & Sexual Assault Hotline:
212.227.3000

TDD phone number for all hotlines:
866.604.5350

 You are not alone:
Here are some stories of victims from domestic violence.

Michael's Story: When a Child Witnesses Domestic Violence

“Mommy’s boyfriend hurts her...”

Five-year-old Michael said these words to his teachers during his first week at school.
His teachers were startled. Usually, they listened to students talk about summer vacation – not hear a student tell them that his mother’s life was in danger. They contacted Michael’s mother, Daphne, to report what her son had said.
They discovered Michael was right. His teachers put Daphne in touch with Safe Horizon, and a day later, Daphne showed up at our offices, anxious yet hopeful.
As Daphne told us about her life, she told us she was shocked to hear that Michael knew what was happening to her. For two years, her boyfriend had routinely beaten and raped her, yet she never called police. She described a harrowing relationship in which her boyfriend was not afraid to punch and kick her in front of his friends, and he would often force her to have sex with them. Daphne told us that once, during a brutal rape, she screamed so loudly that neighbors called the police. Her boyfriend left before the police came. When they asked her what happened, she lied and told them that she and her boyfriend were just arguing.
In spite of such horrific behavior, Daphne’s boyfriend was careful never to attack her in front of her child. Still, he often threatened to hurt Michael if she ever told anyone about the abuse. Daphne was terrified of what he might do to her son, so she stayed silent and suffered.
It may surprise you to know that children do recognize domestic violence and abuse when they see it. In homes where domestic violence takes place, between 80 to 90 percent of children in those homes not only know about the abuse, but can describe it in detail.
Children will also often try to stop violence when they see it happening to a parent - and the consequences to children can be tragic. Yet like Michael, they cannot just watch their parent get hurt. Michael decided to be brave and tell his teachers about it instead.
The compassion and concern of our supporters makes it possible for us to have community programs where Daphne could come and find someone to tell about the abuse. For families affected by violence, we can provide a lot more than a listening ear. For Daphne, we would help her and Michael find the tools they needed to get out of a violent, dangerous situation.
Daphne told us that she wanted to leave her boyfriend, take Michael away, and return to her hometown. Daphne was able to come to our offices because her boyfriend was in jail for drunk driving and driving with a suspended license. She did not, however, want to report the violence or the rape that he and his friends committed. She just wanted to escape.
We helped Daphne get a medical examination, helped her get counseling, and worked with her to manage her situation.
Daphne told us she had been trying for two years to contact Michael’s grandparents without success. We helped her finally reach them. When we did, we learned that they had been desperately trying to reach Daphne, too ... but Daphne's boyfriend intercepted their calls and so they could never talk to her. They told Daphne they would take her and Michael in, if she would just return to them.
Finally, Daphne had a chance to escape and to be with people who cared about her. Our staff worked hard with organizations in her hometown to provide her with the financial and material assistance she would need to relocate. We also found emergency transportation funds to help Daphne and Michael travel to Michael’s grandparents.
A week after Daphne and Michael left, she called us. She told us that she and Michael were safe and they were happy, and most of all, they were grateful for what Safe Horizon did for them.
Daphne and Michael found the chance they needed to escape violence and abuse because Michael spoke up. Thanks to his young voice, he and his mother can now live their lives with brighter, safer futures.


At the end of the day you only have one life and isn't it about time you live it the best and by being happy!
I would love to hear from you, your thoughts and stories.


If you have any concerns, questions or would like for me to discuss a certain issue in the blog, I will be more than happy to discuss it with you. You can email me at

Twitter: anitasandoval@pacctx
Facebook: Positive Awakenings Counseling Center


 

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Awareness on Bereavement and Grief


Building Healthy Relationships:

Hello, my name is Anita Sandoval, I am a Licensed Professional Counselor from the Rio Grande Valley.
My job is to help people come up with techniques, skills, strategies, to implement and move forward to a healthier environment.
Such tools given within counseling will help the person, if implemented effectively will help them become resilient through adversity and find their own meaning of happiness.
It is up to the person to be responsible and do what is necessary to create their own happiness which includes healthy relationships and environment, and I am ready to help them do so.

Today’s Topic



Death


            As a person who also struggles with the reality of death and the unknown of what happens after we die, I find it important to have a certain appreciation of gratitude with life every morning, even if it is for a minute, when I wake up.
            Last week I had a dream, the day before school started for my children, that I had days to live and I had to say my good-byes to my family. I remember thinking of my little girls, knowing that they would grow up without me and then realizing on how I grew up without my father due to a tragic car accident a day before my 2nd birthday. I remember waking up with feelings of such appreciation and gratitude that everything was really just a nightmare attributed to my tiredness of getting everything ready for the kids school.  A week later I read on the social media that a friend of a friend had died of cancer leaving two small daughters around the same age as my little girls.
            Life comes with many transitions for people, and how they cope through such adversities will help them find their true meaning of happiness. The reason why I chose this topic is because even though, people may find it difficult to discuss, the one guarantee in life is that at one point in time we will be in a situation where there will be an adversity of death. Through different skills, can a person be able to move forward in life and yes, even through such hardships can still build healthy relationships and find their happiness.
 

(Grief) (Bereavement)

This is the stage where people mourn a loss of someone or something.
Many people cope differently when it comes to bereavement.

The main stages of Bereavement are: 

Denial-This is where people just don't want to accept what has just happened or pretend nothing happened.

Anger- Emotions can be exhibited in many forms internal or external emotions of anger is still normal as long as it is done effectively.

Bargaining- People think that if they do something everything can get better or go away and not experience a loss. 

Depression: Sadness and depression are different and if you would like to know whether you are depressed or sad. The following link can help you 

Depression quiz:
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/depquiz.htm

Acceptance: People start learning on how to cope with the new adjustment of loss in life.

An article on more information can be found on the website below:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

People can go through the stage in different order at any time and there really is no period of how long a person can be within their grieving process.

Taking a look at the behaviors on how a person whether yourself or a loved one is doing can help on whether their manner of coping through such loss is effective.

Effective coping skills and problem solving skills is needed within this time and there is not a manner of coping effectively counseling is required to gain such skills.
Some effective coping mechanisms can be to talk to someone you love and express your emotions over the matter.
Having your positive support system near you for when you need them is very crucial to the process of grief.

The definition of gratitude is:
the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

The main goal of life in order to become resilient and happy is to look at the things positively.

Finding things of gratitude and appreciation can help a person cope through tough times especially those involving death.

Studies have shown that positive emotions have helped people overcome bereavement process more effectively. More information can be read through the article below.



Remember that you are a product of your environment. Finding that positive support system will help you build through that grieving process.It has been proven time and time again that where you are and who you associate with will have great influence towards to who you will become and are.

Thank you for joining me and next time I will discuss other key matters such as parenting, substance abuse, grief, ADD, Depression and many more that can help with the wellness dimensions.

Also, it would be great to hear from you! I know with the fast track of working, kids, and society it is difficult to attend counseling and maybe you just have a question or a thought and want to know if you are needing counseling or just some strategies to help you move forward for now.  So if you have any questions on any topic you would like to discuss or comment on a problem you are having please feel free to


Contact Me At :






    Email: anita@pacc-tx.com





Facebook:Positive Awakenings Counseling Center





Twitter:anitasandoval@pacctx

Monday, August 17, 2015

Can People Really Change


Building Healthy Relationships:

Hello, my name is Anita Sandoval, I am a Licensed Professional Counselor from the Rio Grande Valley. My job is to help people come up with techniques, skills, strategies, to implement and move forward to a healthier environment. It is up to you to be responsible and do what is necessary to create your own healthy environment, and I am ready to help you do so.

Today’s Topic

Can people really Change

Today’s Topic will entail the most asked question in relationships.

Can people really Change

 Well it seems that I have many a clients that come in to session and mostly come in to complain about the relationships surrounding them and how the other person is the problem and on how they need to change.

Studies have shown that the most effective method to change your environment or the people around you is to first change yourself.

Input Study  è

On the website of www.alleydog.com on the subject of Learning and behavior you will find on how every single person like it or not is learning from the moment we are born to the day we die. Now the key is if what we are learning is good or bad.

Learning and Conditioning http://buff.ly/1gNDOFO

So then the problem then lies in two things: First if the person can be accepting to understand that they are the problem and need to change. Second, to be accepting of the fact that the only person they can change is only themselves.

I always say that you can have an easier time to move a mountain than to change a person.

Now using this concept;

There was a client who went in for counseling due to her husband being physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive to the point that the children would cry and tell people that they were scared of their father. After several sessions and awareness on boundaries the children were under the impression that forgiveness was all that was needed to accept their father back in their lives because their mother would keep taking him back after he apologized and would say the wishful thinking of I will never do it again and basically say everything that was needed to be said to be in good graces with the family. But then using the cycle of anger, looking after the explosion there is something called the honeymoon stage where everything is calm, but then after several weeks, months, everything is held in and changes are put on a stand and habits never replaced so sooner or later those old habits return due to not having the new ones implemented. Then the aggressiveness and same behaviors go back again, and the cycle begins over and over.

So then again the question still remains can people change.
It is like that saying goes:
How many counselors does it take to change a lightbulb and the answer is one, but first the lightbulb will want to change first.

The answer simply is yes,  but first the person will need to be willing to change.
So now the details of the change still remains, how will we know that the person really is changing and is willing to change. It all comes down to the most simplistic evidence. Behaviors! After all, like people say, action speaks louder than words.

Something I have not mentioned which will be mentioned briefly today and I will mention more about it on my next blog is habits. One needs to see what behaviors they do today that are healthy and those that are not healthy and replace the ones that need to be changed.
Only then can you see the change in yourself or in someone else.  So if all you hear is “I’m sorry, I am going to change , I won’t do it again ever” That is called Wishful thinking, because as mentioned before what you do is what becomes of you so if they don’t give you actual different behaviors that they will do to replace the unhealthy ones, then no they are not changing they are just wishfully hoping they will change by not doing anything. 

Then you ask yourself, have you seen anyone change by doing nothing? In order for their to be change, something needs to happen. The answer lies within the person as to what is the behaviors you want to see and on how to get there.

So some strategies you might want to do to see if people can change is first reflect on what changes you are doing and what reactions you are getting from others. Then if you don’t like those reactions make a change yourself and see what different reactions you get from others.

Other strategies to see if people are changing and if they admit the willingness that they want to change is to write down the behaviors they were doing that you or they didn’t like and have them tell you what replacement behaviors they are doing and what results they would get and see if they are doing it



For example: If a person says I won’t get angry and become aggressive and yet when they talk to you they mention on how upset they were because they were standing in line waiting for something and someone cut in before them and they reacted negatively and did not implement any new replacement behaviors, then chances are no they have not change.

One importance key aspect as well is TIME and PRACTICE, only through time and practicing the new behaviors will that person change.

So remember if you want to wait around for that person you will need to accept them for who they are right now and not who they will become because that is what is causing the negativity in the relationship.

Focus and accept who they are right now and if they change in the future then great but you need to see if first in the present to know the results you will get in the future.

It is like a diet and losing weight, practicing the new change in eating lifestyle and seeing the pounds shed off every week will enable you to know that you will eventually hit your target goal weight and maintain that for the rest of your life.

Remember that you are a product of your environment. It has been proven time and time again that where you are and who you associate with will have great influence towards to who you will become and are.

Thank you for joining me and next time I will discuss other key matters such as parenting, substance abuse, grief, ADD, Depression and many more that can help with the wellness dimensions.

Also, it would be great to hear from you! I know with the fast track of working, kids, and society it is difficult to attend counseling and maybe just have a question or a thought and want to know if you are needing counseling or just some strategies to help you move forward for now.  So if you have any questions on any topic you would like to discuss or comment on a problem you are having please feel free to


contact me at:

Website: www.positiveawakeningscenter.com

   Email:  anita@pacc-tx.com

 Facebook: Positive Awakenings Counseling Center

Twitter: anitasandoval@pacctx

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Building Healthy Relationships- Healthy Vs. Unhealthy Relationships and its Effects

www.positiveawakeningscenter.com


Hi, my name is Anita Sandoval MA,LPC. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor.  

My job is to help people come up with techniques, skills, strategies, to implement and move forward to a healthier environment. It is up to you to be responsible and do what is necessary to create your own healthy environment, and I am ready to help you do so.

What is a healthy and unhealthy.
The Eight Dimensions of Wellness are:
  1. Emotional—Coping effectively with life and creating satisfying relationships
  2. Environmental—Good health by occupying pleasant, stimulating environments that support well-being
  3. Financial—Satisfaction with current and future financial situations
  4. Intellectual—Recognizing creative abilities and finding ways to expand knowledge and skills
  5. Occupational—Personal satisfaction and enrichment from one’s work
  6. Physical—Recognizing the need for physical activity, healthy foods, and sleep
  7. Social—Developing a sense of connection, belonging, and a well-developed support system
  8. Spiritual—Expanding a sense of purpose and meaning in life

These are basically the different aspects within your life that if interfered with an issue can cause unhappiness or unease. With counseling a person can objectively look and analyze where the issue lies and come up with ways to where you can be able to become whole and healthy again.

Today we will be discussing one of the major aspects that define all the dimensions of the wellness. It is relationships, in order to be able to function in society in any of the dimensions mentioned before a person needs to have a healthy relationship within one self and others. 

By definition: relationship means, the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Today in this world like the saying goes, “Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.”
Flavia Weedn

Basically, whenever you connect with a person or concept or anything for that matter you are leaving an impression. What is the impression you want to leave to people, what is it that you stand for and want for people see. This is where it comes down to one thing: Behaviors. 

Behaviors is basically what someone does. Good or bad behavior has always been subjective to interpretation. Therefore, I will define what healthy and unhealthy relationships are through behaviors and through what are subjectively interpreted through today’s society’s point of view.

Healthy Relationships encompass these several factors:
Non-threatening behaviors, respect, honesty and accountability, trust and support, responsible parenting, shared responsibility, economic partnership, negotiation and fairness. All of which the goal of the relationship is for equality.

Unhealthy Relationships, sometimes referred as domestic violence, encompass these factors: Intimidation, coercion and threats, emotional abuse, isolation, male privilege, economic abuse, using children, minimizing, denying, and blaming, and physical abuse, all of which serves the purpose in a relationship for power and control.

Such type of relationships can have an affect on a person such as:

Healthy relationship is affected by:  Fewer mental health problems, reduced pain, reduced stress, longer life, happiness.

Unhealthy relationships can be affected by: Increased risk of coronary heart disease, poor mental health, negative effects on overall health, heaping stress upon stress, and slower disease recovery.

It is up to you to decide which type of relationship you want in your life and the effects from it by seeing the behaviors in front of you that you and the people around you exhibit. If you are in an unhealthy relationship and are ready to move forward into a healthier one there are some strategies that you can begin implementing.

Some strategies to begin changing your environment and begin building healthy relationships is by Developing:

Effective Communication skills and Problem solving skills.

 Remember that you are a product of your environment. It has been proven time and time again that where you are and who you associate with will have great influence towards to who you will become and are.

Next time I will discuss other key matters such as parenting, substance abuse, grief, ADD, Depression and many more that can help with the wellness dimensions. Also, it would be great to hear from you!

If you have any comments, questions or would like for me to discuss a certain issue, I will be more than happy to discuss it in my next blog. You can contact me at:

You can follow me at:
Twitter: anitasandoval@pacctx
Facebook: positiveawakeningscenter