Some people come to the realization that life is just so hard. Then I realized within my own family that it doesn’t matter if you are two years old, 12 years old, or 22 years old. Life is just hard all around. I often question myself though, why is it that whenever I have someone tell me their problems and I attempt to help them find solutions, they get all defensive. Then I see in front of me, the person with the power to change it all and make life just that much easier , if only… only if only.. they would be accepting. I tend to feel frustrated, hopeful, and dismayed all at the same time.
In order to deal with conflict and problems in life, Freud stated that the ego employs a range of defense mechanisms. Defense mechanisms operate at an unconscious level and help ward off unpleasant feelings (i.e. anxiety) or make good things feel better for the individual.
I had to go back and research and remember on why people tend to use defense mechanisms in a time where people would benefit best using that serenity prayer”
Then I realize that due to their own way of handling their problems and dealing with the reality that yes, life is hard, it is just that they are not yet ready to unconsciously accept and change. Which is why I always tell people. “Counseling is not for the people who need it, rather it is for the people who want it.”
Has it every happened to you where you know that someone you care about is not willing to accept that they are the problem and the solution. How has that made you feel about it.