Thursday, June 23, 2016

What I do for a living.



I am a Licensed Professional Counselor

I help people who are in unhealthy/toxic relationships.

I understand the meaning of healthy relationships and standing up to what you believe in, so that 

others can respect your values and give you the healthy relationship that you deserve. 


Email: anita@pacc-tx.com
Website: www.pacc-tx.com
Online Counseling: www.positiveawakeningsonline.com
Facebook: Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx

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Wednesday, June 8, 2016

How Do you Know When Your Relationship Has Become Toxic!



How Do you Know When Your Relationship Has Become Toxic!

I have been guilty of being in a relationship that at times I would tell myself “What did I get my self into!” Then I have also seen people and their relationships that have been toxic and yet they remain together. All for the sake of “LOVE.”
            So I ask myself? What are the main reasons for a person remaining in a toxic relationship? And do people even Realize that they are in a Toxic Relationship! First of course is what are the main reasons, well from mine, and from what other’s have told me on why they stay in a Toxic Relationship.

·      Because I love him/her
·      For the kids
·      Because I don’t know how I can do it by myself
·      Because I can help them be better
·      Because they said they will change
·      It was only that one time and it wasn’t their fault
·      Because he/she loves me
·      Our relationship is fine it is not TOXIC

Of course there could be many more, however these are just some of the main reasons on why some people remain in  a TOXIC environment.  Know let me give you some how I would like to call it SYMPTOMS/SIGNS of a TOXIC relationship.

·      When someone does not respect your opinions no matter how crazy it may be, they are still your own opinions.
·      When the person you love, puts you down, humiliates you, embarrasses you, yells at you, treats you emotionally in a negative manner.
·      When your partner invades your physical space by pushing you, slapping you, or just being next to you when you want to be alone.
·      When the person you love wants to have you do things that you don’t want to do. And want to either emotionally guilt you, manipulate you with whatever means to do what others want to do and not respect your own wishes  of what you want.
·      When its constantly either my way or your way and not compromise or find resolutions to where both can come to a mutual agreement.

Everyone deserves to be in a relationship where there is respect, love and you do too.

Email: anita@pacc-tx.com
Website: www.pacc-tx.com
Online Counseling: www.positiveawakeningsonline.com
Facebook: Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx

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Wednesday, May 18, 2016

When People Just Don't Get What You Want


When People Just Don’t Get What You Want

I have realized whenever I hear the conflicts, and problems that come in my office on a day-to-day basis. That most of the issues stem from misguided perception from different points of views. I keep hearing people say “Tell Me I am RIGHT!, or” Tell Me that They are Wrong!.”  The question really lies in, is there really a right or wrong whenever there is belief on how you think things should be.

·      I ask myself ok Well What then defines right or wrong?
·      Who defines right or wrong?
·      What if there is finally an agreement on who is right and wrong, then what… is the problem solved then, where everyone leaves happy!

All I can say is that each one has their own set of values, and within those values they have them in a specific order.

The definition of wrong is “not correct or true.” So then can you prove beliefs, and opinions to be true. As a far as I remember an opinion is something you cannot prove and a fact is something you can prove to be right or wrong.

So an awesome strategy that I use to help with those disagreements on opinions and beliefs is finding as much facts that can be proven true or false.

I recently finished reading “The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho” There was a parable in there from which I found very interesting.

There were seven mice and each one had a different part of the elephant. The mouse that had the trunk said that it was a snake. The mouse that had the midsection said it was a big wall. And etc.

The moral of the story: For me again in my opinion not a fact that each person’s opinion is different and opinions don’t really have a wrong or right. It’s just an opinion a belief. 

Anita Sandoval LPC-S
 

anita@pacc-tx.com

Website: www.pacc-tx.com
Online Counseling: www.positiveawakeningsonline.com
Facebook: Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx

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Thursday, April 28, 2016

The Importance of Trust in any Relationship!


The Importance of Trust in any Relationship!

I have been reading my book of the month and I have been so excited to learn new things in this book that I decided to share with you my thoughts so far with this book and once I finish I will give you some more afterthoughts about the book.

The book I am presently reading is called “TRUST WORKS” by Ken Blanchard.  From the point of view of a Licensed Professional Counselor I began reading the strategies and began to see on how the strategies given in the book can actually help my patients and people within my environment create healthier relationships.

I asked myself What is Trust?

noun: trust

1.firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. "relations have to be built on trust"


What are the fundamentals of a healthy relationship
1.     Love
2.     Trust
3.     Communication

Then looking further, how can someone communicate with another person without trust. What would happen to the love of someone without the foundation of trust.

So far the strategies I was able to gain is the following:
·      A-Able- Do positive behaviors that will help the person whom you want to gain the trust with.
·      B-Believable- Do positive behaviors that is believed to be by the person who needs to gain your trust. Each person’s mind is their own world, therefore just because you do something positive does not mean that the other person will see that positive deed as something good to gain trust.
·      C-Connectedness- Try to understand the person’s point of view and where they come from. You don’t have to agree with their point of view. Just understand who they are with what they believe in. If you understand their belief’s they will begin to connect with you and gain some trust.
·      D-Dependability- This is where when the going gets tough, you are there to help the other person. You are physically, emotionally, spiritually there for the person to where they can depend on you to help them in a positive manner.

The final ingredient to bring everything together is patience. Nothing great was created in one day. Keep doing those 4 strategies and you will be able to have an awesome healthy relationship just by being consistent with your behaviors.

Have you tried any other strategies to help you gain the trust of someone to create a better relationship? How did it work out?
        
Website: www.pacc-tx.com
Online Counseling: www.positiveawakeningsonline.com
Facebook: Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx

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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

"What If" and "What Is"



What if I were to win a million Dollars :-). What if I could have lost 30lbs! There are so many what if variables and factors when taking someone's situation into consideration. But at the end of the day what matters most is " What Is In Front Of You" and "What is Happening and work with what you have" 

  1. Learning from the past is the only thing we can do to make a difference in the present and future.
  2. Making the necessary Behavioral changes, no matter how small will change everything around you. 
  3. Being Consistent with your Values will help you become free and happy no matter the situation you have encountered, finding solutions consistently with your values will enable better solutions.
Think back to whenever you focused on the What If's instead of What has happened to you. What ended up happening. What did you do to get yourself out of it?


  

Email: anita@pacc-tx.com

Website: www.pacc-tx.com
Online Counseling: www.positiveawakeningsonline.com
Facebook:
Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx

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Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/23b603e88813366



Tuesday, April 5, 2016

To Be Wise or To Be Smart?

To Be Wise or To Be Smart?



I often wondered what the difference was in reference to being smart and being wise. I mean isn't it the same thing. Well this is what I found: 

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/wisdom
Simple Definition of wisdom
  • : knowledge that is gained by having many experiences in life
  • : the natural ability to understand things that most other people cannot understand
  • : knowledge of what is proper or reasonable : good sense or judgment

Simple Definition of education

·       : the action or process of teaching someone especially in a school, college, or university
·       : the knowledge, skill, and understanding that you get from attending a school, college, or university
·       : a field of study that deals with the methods and problems of teaching
Simple Definition of ignorance
  • : a lack of knowledge, understanding, or education : the state of being ignorant
 

     
     So a wise person knows what to do in most situations, while a smart person knows what to do in situations where few others could.

I often wondered on how it was possible that some people who strived to attain so much education could simply be oblivious with the fact that they still lack the wisdom to just “GET IT!”

When I mean the word “Get It” I refer to simple concepts of life situations and on how to solve them. Some people can refer to it as common sense. I hear many friends tell me, “after all it’s common sense.” But the question then lies, Is it? Is it just common sense or is it something deeper such as wisdom.

         I then reflect on past relationships/connections I have had with people in the past. Some that were so smart, some would say a “know it all” and yet I never saw them as smart. I often noticed something lacking. That’s when I realized that the “common sense” is something I guess I would call Wisdom.

         To have some success a person needs to have a wholesome sense of wisdom together with education.

         After researching the concepts of wisdom, I came to realize that it is the life’s experiences that help enable a person’s wisdom. Therefore, when life hands out problems and the manner in which the person handles them will help them become more strengthened in the concept of being wiser. Some strategies I have used to help with this is to consult with people who have the education and the wisdom to guide me with my own personal issues.

         Many wise people in the past have also consulted with wise counsel themselves to help with overcoming issues. Such as King Arthur of Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table.


The point I wanted to make after finding out the difference is, someone with more education makes them knowledgeable just in that specific subject, which in turn doesn’t necessarily make them wise.   


What do you think?

  

Email: anita@pacc-tx.com

Website: www.pacc-tx.com
Online Counseling: www.positiveawakeningsonline.com
Facebook:
Positive Awakenings Counseling Center
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pacctx